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Why it Took me 15 Years to Live My Dreams

You’re reading Why it Took me 15 Years to Live My Dreams, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

‘The goal is to die with memories, not dreams’
– Unknown In 2002, I had a vision while studying at University. Although disinterested in my Politics course, I’d become fascinated by hypnotherapy and personal development. While pondering what to do when I left, and how I had no desire to follow a conventional path, this vision hit me. I saw myself speaking to an audience and inspiring them with my words. What followed was a 15-year journey to become a personal development leader. It’s a journey that took many twists and turns. Via the route of becoming a tennis coach and then a hypnotherapist, while overcoming personal problems like insomnia, IBS, chronic shoulder pain, and loneliness, I was finally able to publish my book and embark on my life as an author and speaker. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Fifteen years is a long time! It’s too much effort, heartache and rejection. Furthermore, you might be thinking it won’t take me that long to live my dreams. There’s an easier way and I’m smarter than that. And maybe there is and maybe you are. However, what I’m about to share with you applies to any dreamer irrespective of their abilities or the nature of their dream. There’s a three-stage process you must pass through to live your dreams. I want you to understand it. This way, you’ll appreciate why it can take longer than expected and, most importantly, not be discouraged.

The Hero’s Journey

The three-stage process I’m talking about is The Hero’s Journey. It’s creator is the writer Joseph Campbell, who developed this theory while studying ancient mythology. He discovered that there were certain key stages that every adventurer must pass through to achieve their goal. Originally numbering 21, for the sake of brevity, I’m going to describe them under their 3 main headings (and use my journey as an example of how they apply). I want you to understand that you too are a potential hero. It’s my belief that we all have a meaningful contribution to make to this world. Will you heed yours?

Stage 1: The Departure – February 2002 to September 2003

The Departure occurs the moment you set out on your quest. It also shines a light on the confusion you may experience. In The Departure, the hero has ‘a calling’ (an idea for a new business, a goal they want to achieve). However, they are torn between the excitement of this dream and the comfort of the world they know. For me, this occurred in February 2002 with the vision I mentioned at the start. I felt compelled to pursue it and, yet, it seemed impossible to achieve. Much deliberation ensued as my mind wavered between the two options. The Hero’s Journey states that when making your Departure, you will face a ‘Threshold Guardian’ – an obstacle in the form of a monster or evil being that seeks to prevent your advance. For our times, this will present itself in the form of fearful/disapproving parents, colleagues, friends, a bank manager refusing to give a loan or a so-called expert warning that your journey will be fraught with hardship, or just plain impossible. Typically, they play on your greatest fears, claiming your quest could leave you broke and lonely. Overcoming ‘Threshold Guardians’ is hard. As you can see from the length of time it took me to embark on my Departure (a full year and a half), their influence can cause a great deal of doubt. Part of me accepted the ‘fact’ it’s virtually impossible to get a book published. Furthermore, I believed people when they told me I was too young and lacking in life experience. For a while, my fears of what might go wrong were stronger than my desire to explore the possibilities of my ‘calling’. Eventually, I decided that I must stay true to my heart. Rejecting my parent’s pleas to consider a mainstream career in law or the corporate world, I trained, and then began working, as a tennis coach (the first step to me pursuing my greater dream of writing a book and becoming a personal development leader).

Stage 2: The Initiation: September 2003 – February 2012

This stage is about the trials you’ll experience in seeking to achieve the object of your quest. They’ll test you on three levels – physical, mental, spiritual – and the outcome, if passed through successful, will be a change in your consciousness. My initiation was twofold. Not only did I need to learn a range of professional skills – how to coach and hypnotise people, how to write convincingly, how to build rapport, how to cope with failure – I also had to overcome my personal issues. Both Luke Skywalker and Neo experience something similar in Star Wars and The Matrix. Their mentors – Yoda and Morpheus – push them through a series of trials aimed at altering their concept of reality. By mastering The Force and, for Neo, ‘setting his mind free’, they maximise their potential and develop the belief they can do anything. It’s likely that your initiation will test you on many levels. You’ll need to develop the discipline to go the extra mile, the leadership qualities to convince others of your ideas and the resilience to overcome adversity. This may sound unappealing. However, it’s important to remember that going through these trials is what gives you the strength to rise above your old reality. My Initiation took a lot longer than I’d have hoped or anticipated (eight and a half years). This was because I kept looking for an easy way out. I didn’t embrace the necessary hard work and, instead, told myself that I would only work when feeling inspired. Eventually, I learned to accept the challenge of The Initiation. I made sure I did a minimum amount of writing every single day (1 hour). This was irrespective of how motivated I felt. Doing so enabled me to finish my book and prepared me for the final stage in my journey.

Stage 3: The Return: February 2012 – February 2017

The Return marks the moment the hero reveals themselves to the world. They make a stand. They say, this is who I am (by launching their product, creation, entering a competition etc) and set out to achieve what they initially intended. For me, this occurred when I pressed enter on my laptop and published the first edition of my book on Amazon. It was the 8th February 2012 and I thought I was ready for superstardom. What I soon learned, though, was that The Return doesn’t necessarily signify ‘the end’. I was hoping to sit back, watch the sales role in, live off the royalties and enjoy some speaking opportunities off the back the books success. This didn’t happen and it taught me an important lesson. When you make your Return, you may well face even greater failure and rejection than you experienced during The Initiation. You may present yourself or, your project, to the world, and the world may turn around and say, ‘we’re not interested’. But this is ok. It’s what The Initiation has prepared you for. You’ve already been tested to the limit and developed an unbreakable inner strength. It’s normal to face inner resistance upon making your Return. The Hero’s Journey mentions that the hero will often feel the world cannot understand the new person they’ve become. This was certainly the case with me. When I first published my book and launched my website, I was painfully aware that many people would find my point of view controversial.
This held me back. It stopped me promoting myself wholeheartedly. I hoped that people would chance upon my work without me having to make any noise. Of course, this didn’t happen. Instead, I learned I needed to change my approach. Just as Luke Skywalker had to confront Darth Vader, and Neo had to fight Agent Smith, The Return demands that you face your greatest fear. For me, this was speaking my truth. To be successful with my book and wider message, I had to get comfortable with bearing my soul to the world. For someone who had previously sought to cut himself off, it was a trying time. However, the more I forced myself out of my comfort zone, the more I realised that people warm to others who aren’t afraid to be themselves. Soon, the result came in. The sales of my book increased, the interest in my website grew, I received some fantastic reviews on Amazon and I finally got some speaking gigs. 15 years after my original vision, I was finally living my dream. ***** Special Offer to Pick The Brain readers from the author***** Do you want to learn more about living your own dreams? If so, grab a copy of my FREE course by clicking the link below. I call it, ‘How to Escape The System’ and it will provide you with the blueprint for breaking free form the 9 to 5, finding your passion and overcoming your fear. It also includes a 30 Day Challenge to get you started. How to Escape The System Joe Barnes is creator of the Screw The System website, author of the critically acclaimed Escape The System and long time contributor to Pick The Brain. His mission is to give all Dreamers, Adventurers and Entrepreneurs the inspiration and information necessary to pursue their true calling. He also works as a hypnotherapist and tennis coach.  

You’ve read Why it Took me 15 Years to Live My Dreams, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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About Darren Webb

Hello & Welcome to my blog. My name is Darren Webb and i'm on a magical successful journey and also helping others have a more stress free relaxed life. I truly hope that you find a lot of useful information on my blog and that it helps you through your life. Please feel free to contact me at any time.

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4 Ways to Eliminate the Fear of Failure

You're reading 4 Ways to Eliminate the Fear of Failure, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

The fear of failure is something that all of us encounter at some point in our lives. Unfortunately, that is just the way we are programmed as humans.

On the other hand there are many different ways that you can help eliminate the fear of failure today, tomorrow and beyond.

It starts with one thing. You!

That might seem like an easy thing to do, but it isn’t. What I’ve done is broken down 4 of the Most important things you can do Today, that will help you eliminate the fear of failure.

Clear Mindset toward Your Goals

Here is something that we might not think of as extremely important, but it is.

Think of it this way, the Fear of Failure is all psychology, we start thinking about the things that we want to achieve, then our minds start fighting back. That is just the way things work, and again how we are wired.

When you go into things thinking about one thing and one thing only, your Goals, then you are already taking a very crucial step into not being afraid to fail. Your goals must be very specific and most importantly attainable.

When you put these things together you are setting yourself up for success. Mindset is always the first step to anything big, especially when it comes to better yourself overall.

Having the Right Idea of Failure

Here is a tricky one.

You might be thinking,

Why would knowing what failure is help me not fear it?


Knowing what failure is to your helps create a better understanding to what you are dealing with. Failure is different to every individual person.

For example, my biggest idea of failure is letting people down. Whereas you might be afraid not to land a job, or finish school or get that big promotion. Failure is a HUGE thing in our lives, and we are burdened each and every day with it.

Knowing what failure is to you, will help you have the right approach when combating it.

Accepting that Failure is a part of the “Process”

Now if you are anything like me, you are always working ten steps ahead of everyone else. Which that is great and all, but you will encounter failure in one form or another.

The kicker here is that you don’t have to sit there and expect failure, but you have to simply understand it is a part of the process of life. Whether you are looking to start your own business, do better as a parent, find your own motivation  or whatever the case may be, you have to accept failure.

It is natural to fear something that is inevitable, which is one of the biggest reasons why we always are discouraged when failure does hit. However, if we are heading into Life’s ventures knowing that at some point we are going to face failure, then when that time comes its easier.

Having the Right Support System

Here is the most important of these 4 ways to Eliminate the Fear of Failure, having the right Support System.


This doesn’t always have to mean having 1 person to lean on when things get rough. First and foremost you have to be able to support yourself through everything that happens in life and success. Failure is again going to happen.

You might have that one person who is there and always has believed in you no matter what, or you may have yourself.

Whatever the case may be, you must be able to count on that one person to be there when failure hits. Knowing that someone has your back, will ease your mind and oftentimes you won’t even think about the failures anymore.


Support is the biggest deterrent in any sort of fear based system. Once again, this is all about psychology, and if our minds aren’t thinking about failure, or don’t have to worry if failure happens, then we live our lives in a much better light.

Dustin Meyer, Editor and Writer for The Evolutionary Mind. I have
a strict passion for expressing realistic ways to help as many people as I
can, and Pride myself in the writing that I do. I'm a new Father of a
beautiful little Girl, and 2 Step Sons. Along with writing, I'm extremely
passionate about my family and bettering our lifestyle along with others
through writing, video, and branding.

You've read 4 Ways to Eliminate the Fear of Failure, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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7 Ways to be a Positive Person

You're reading 7 Ways to be a Positive Person, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Want seven easy fixes to become a positive person? Few people are willing to go on a spiritual journey to become a positive person because at times it seems like a tremendous amount of work. Inspired by Jim Carrey who spent years on his spiritual journey, why not learn what he has to teach and save yourself years of searching? Here are the seven ways to be a positive person. (You need all seven to be a truly positive person, but point 1 and point 7 are the most important.)

1 – Gratitude Is Your Most Neglected Tool

Want to be positive all the time? Learn how to be grateful. People who are grateful are positive almost semi-continuously because they appreciate what they have. They appreciate the fact they can draw breath without pain, that they can eat, that people love them, and that they have the capacity to think and grow.

Ingratitude is actually the source of most misery in the world. People would not steal if they were grateful what what they had earned, and people would not cheat on their spouses if they were grateful for their love. It is very difficult to remain positive if you are miserable, and misery is caused by ingratitude.

2 – Don’t Make A Point Of Being Positive, But Make A Point Of Pulling Yourself Out Of Being Negative

They say the best way to spot a liar is to look for signs a person is telling the truth rather than trying to look for signs that the person is lying. Take a similar back-to-front approach when it comes to being positive. Pull yourself out of a negative funk rather than trying to be positive all the time.

Both Sean Stephenson and Tony Robbins say that they overcame their darkest days by allowing themselves to feel sad and negative, but not allowing themselves to stay in that position.

3 – Ask Yourself What You Have Learned From Every Event

It is difficult pulling yourself out of a negative funk. You may not feel like plastering your face with a fake smile or looking on the bright side. If that is the case, it is time to get intellectual about the situation and ask yourself what you can learn from recent events. What you learn may not help you in the future, but it certainly will not hurt you. Force yourself to learn from what has just happened, even if all that you learn is that life tries to trip you from time-to-time.

4 – Believe But Verify Rather Than Being A Tireless Skeptic

Part of being positive is learning to look on the bright side, but the world is a harsh and dangerous place where looking on the bright side may leave you in danger. We are skeptical by nature because our minds are looking for danger. Instead of losing your skepticism, you need to believe but verify.

If your daughter says she is going to sleep at her friends all night, then believe her and send her on her way, but verify what she said either beforehand, or after. Don't forget that you can verify after an event, and you can do it casually. For example, you may see your daughter’s friend when she drops her daughter off at school, where you can walk over, say hi, and say, “I hope my girl wasn’t too much of a pest when she slept over at yours on Saturday.

5 – Pray To A Creator

Follow a religion if you wish, or pray to whatever it is you think created our universe. Pray with nothing more than a thank you for your existence. Don't treat your prayers like a Christmas wish list, simply pray by saying thank you and maybe list the things you are specifically thankful for.

Before god haters start ripping this article apart on the comments section, this point is not pushing any sort of religion, you can make your own religion up if you wish, and the creator you choose can simply be an entity that humans are unable to define.

How does praying to a creator help make you a more positive person? Not only do you receive a divine sense of unexplainable warmth, you also take the focus off you and your problems and turn your attention to “Life.”

6 – A Slap On The Wrist Whenever You Do Not Look On The Bright Side

Some people are negative by default. They always look on the nasty and dark side because that is what they are used to. The idea of being optimistic appears girly, silly, weak, or childish. If you find yourself looking on the dark side, then slap yourself on the wrist. Actually give yourself a physical representation of your choice to stop being negative.

Whenever you notice yourself taking a negative path, slap yourself on the wrist because it will create a series of habitual memories in your mind that force your brain to take notice whenever you are negative. It makes it more difficult for you to be negative by accident or by default. This is not a punishment, it is a way of helping your mind recognize when you are being negative by default.

7 – Love, Money, Compassion And Equality Does Not Defeat Evil - Courage Defeats Evil

The most obvious question is, “How can I be positive in a world so rotten?” The answer is “Courage.” People may tell you that love will save the world, or understanding will change the world, or that people are good by nature and it is just their surroundings that make them bad. All of this is lies. If you want to live in a world where you proud to be positive, then be courageous and reward others for being courageous. Be proud of your courage, even if it puts you at physical risk.

A person who seeks out racists is not courageous, but a person who speaks out against something wrong even at the “risk” of being “called” racist is courageous. A sexually assaulted woman is not courageous if she forgives her attacker, but she is courageous if she presses charges, stands in the courtroom, and refuses to allow the man to get away with his crimes. A courageous person is not somebody who tries to fight a pitiful person, it is the person who dives into a pitiful fight to try to break it up.

Courage is powerful, and when courage is added to gratitude, you have all you need to be a positive and happy person.

William Grigsby is an HR expert at assignmentmasters. His passion is to show that each person is unique and can independently achieve success by applying efforts every day.William was writing in this space for 2 successful years.

Feel free to follow him on Twitter @willgrgsb

You've read 7 Ways to be a Positive Person, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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